Most of us are looking for a soulmate to spend the rest of our lives with. We enter a relationship with the hopes of finding lasting love. So, when problems arise in your relationship, you may feel hopeless, confused, or stuck.
You are not alone. Even the most caring, loving, intelligent people have problems in their relationships. People come together with their own set of values and expectations in a relationship. And sometimes these clash.
In other relationships, daily life can put stress on a relationship. For example, raising children, financial pressures and career stress often put a strain on connection. These stressors strain any relationship, no matter how strong.
Life throws curveballs that complicate relationships, too. Infidelity, loss of a loved one or financial or health issues can put a relationship into crisis mode.
The media teaches us that “true love” means perfect harmony; happily, ever after leaves no room for conflict. But couples who stay together face their problems – and grow because of them.
Couples counseling can restore love, faith and trust between you and your partner. As a therapist with over 17 years of experience, I have helped hundreds of couples in the San Jose, Milpitas, and Fremont areas.
Counseling is a wonderful outlet for you and your partner to reconnect and move forward. In my office, there is no finger pointing or shaming. I use strengths-based and solution-focused techniques to identify the issues each party brings to the relationship. Counseling allows you and your partner to set goals and resolve conflicts. Many of my clients feel closer to their partners after a few sessions.
It’s normal for your partner to feel insecure or fearful about therapy. However, couples counseling is still beneficial if only one of you attends. We will work together to improve how you communicate with your partner, how to de-escalate arguments, how to make changes that will allow your partner to do the same. Your partner may be more open to counseling if you talk about your positive experiences. In fact, change usually happens when one partner gets the ball rolling!
My goal is to bridge the gap between you and your partner. I never take sides. Instead, I weigh each of your thoughts and feelings equally. But this does not mean I condone infidelity, abuse, or addiction. If you are struggling with these problems, we will begin by healing these harmful habits. A strong relationship rests on faith, loyalty, and good health.
My office is a neutral space where you and your partner can talk out your problems. And I encourage my clients to express their feelings, anger included. But fighting during your session is a waste of time and money – you can argue at home for free! I mediate to make sure your discussions productive.
It is true, many couples have to squeeze in sessions on breaks or after long workdays; others need to hire babysitters. And therapy isn’t cheap. Yet time and time again, I hear, “Our marriage is worth the time and money spent.”
For anything we value, we must invest our resources to make it work.
Let’s face it: relationships take work. They can be complicated, and there is no handbook. And yet so often we feel pressured to have the perfect relationship and fix issues on our own.
Asking for help is a sign of maturity. By seeking couples counseling, you have shown you are not afraid to grow in your relationship. The courage to admit you don’t have the answers reveals you are committed to self-improvement. In turn, improving yourself brings you closer to your partner. Counseling does not make you a failure – it leads to success in your relationship for years to come.
Couples counseling is not just a job, it’s my passion
I grew up in a divorced family and as a result never really had good role models for marriage. I told myself that I was going to learn as much as I could, do my own work on myself, and find others who I could look up to and emmulate in my own marriage. As a result, I am passionate about helping others have successful marriages where there is love and intimacy.
I do more than just “listen”–I’m a results-driven and active therapist
I believe that being heard is very important in the session. However, I go beyond clients sharing their feelings. I am an active, solution-focused and results-driven therapist that wants you to be be successful in your marriage. That includes listening to you, but it also means being able to pinpoint what is holding you back and giving you clear direction on how to move forward.
I have many years of experience–both professionally and in life
I have over 17 years of professional experience counseling others in relationships. To be honest, when I first started out, I really didn’t know what I was doing. However, through the years, I have really gained a skill for knowing what works and what doesn’t. I have also learned how to identify these things in a couple. This skill takes time to build– through practice– seeing different couples day in and day out.
In addition, I am proud to say that I have been happily married for 13 years. I have learned so much in my own journey. And we learn best when we are tied personally to something, don’t we? My husband and I are both human so I understand what it’s like to be married and to wrestle with issues. I also know the wonderful feeling of being in a good place in a marriage, knowing that you both are working at it together.
If you are ready to move forward in your relationship, contact me today!