5 Principles to Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman
If you’ve looked to the Bible for guidance on how to live as a Godly woman, you’ve probably studied Proverbs 31:10-31. These verses describe a tireless, wise, devoted wife and mother who keeps every area of her life running smoothly.
All we can learn from scripture is that she receives just the minimum of sleep (“She gets up while it is still night”), labours unreasonably long hours (“She sees that her trading is profitable, and that her lamp never goes out at night”) and finds the undying respect of her children (“Her children arise and call her blessed”).
To take Proverbs 31:10-31 literally is sure to make us feel inadequate. And to try to live out this picture of womanhood is to be overwhelmed and frustrated. This is not God’s plan for us–to be exhausted, irritable, and burned out. His plan for us is to be healthy, productive, joyful and peace-filled. So, how do we make God’s plan for us work with what this passage is saying?
Understanding the Context of Proverbs 31
It’s important to think about these passages in context. They aren’t a rigid checklist, but rather a set of guidelines in the form of a poem written from a husband to his wife. (“Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” verse 29)
Yes, the verses are full of advice on how to be a Christian woman, but it’s important to recall how and why they were originally composed. They weren’t made to be a grading rubric.
When we examine the scripture carefully, we can discern the true purpose of Proverbs 31.
What Does Proverbs 31 Teach Us?
Caring for your family
Your family should play a key role in your life. There’s no need to set yourself a punishing schedule. If you make your family a priority and try your best to create a happy home, that is pleasing to God.
Being sensible with money
Proverbs 31 praises a prudent woman who will plant a vineyard “from her earnings.” In practice, this means having the wisdom to manage your family’s budget and being financially savvy. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to worry about every cent. The key idea is that you make the best possible use of what you’ve got.
Caring for those less fortunate than yourself
Verse 20 is clear on this point: “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” A woman who walks with God should be charitable and kind. This doesn’t mean you need to wear yourself out serving others. Or say yes when you really can’t handle any more. It means that you should support and nurture those who require help as far as the Lord has given you the mental and physical capacity to do so.
Doing your best to support your husband
Verse 12 makes it plain that a Godly wife is supportive of her husband, and builds him up to fulfill God’s purpose in his life : “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Cherish your spouse. Approach him in good faith when you run into problems.
Offering guidance and discipline in a kind manner
Verse 26 states that a Godly woman “speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” When giving instructions to others or disciplining children, try to remain loving yet firm. No one can be perfectly calm and patient at all times, but as a rule, we should try to be gentle with others and to choose our words with care.
We can relax in His love and find blessing in the pursuit of Proverbs 31
God never meant any portion of scripture to be a burden. He knows our limitations. He knows aren’t perfect (which is why He sent Jesus). So when you see Proverbs 31 as a guide rather than a measuring stick, the verses become a source of life and joy, not a daunting set of standards.
Learning to walk with God is a lifelong journey, and walking with Him reaps dividends. As the final Verse implies (“Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate”), walking in obedience to the Lord leads to blessing, both now and in eternity.
Ready to enjoy the freedom of living Proverbs 31 God’s way?
If you’re struggling or don’t know how to implement these principles in your everyday life, you are not alone. I’m here to guide you through this process. Book a session today and let’s discover what a joy-filled, grace-fueled Proverbs 31 life looks like for you.
About the author: Lia Huynh, LMFT is a Milpitas and San Jose Therapist, pastor’s wife and seminary professor who has a passion for helping others fulfill God’s calling for them. If you are interested in learning more about Christian counseling with Lia, click here.
