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7 Things Learned in 7 Years of Marriage Part 3 of 3


Part 3 of 3: 7 Things I Learned from 7 Years of Marriage

6.)  Marriage is hard work.

My idea of marriage was that it would be happy times of my husband filling my every need. There would be laughter, roses and “you’re so beautiful’s”. . .all the time, every day. After all, that’s how dating was–that’s why we married, right?

The hard truth was that I didn’t realize that dating is like a fantasy world.When you are dating, you go out, do something fun, and then you go home–to yourself. Your insecurities, your faults, your own expectations. You basically deal with yourself and get over it and move on with your life. When we got married, I brought my stuff into our marriage and vice versa.

As a single person, when I had a bad day at work, I would go home, pray, cry, talk to my friends, eat some ice cream, and it was done. When we got married, it was so much easier to just take everything out on him. After all that’s why we got married, right? I had to learn that David is not God and I cannot put all my burdens on him, he is simply not capable. That was hard to accept.

Also, when you get married, you are dealing with unglamorous things like finances and cleaning the house and how to spend your Saturdays. You think it naturally falls into place and for some people it does, but for us, we struggled.

In addition, I was not used to being criticized, as my parents were very laid back and very affirming. This was good and bad. I got defensive if David asked me to change even the slightest thing. Then when we had a child, everything got multiplied times 100. Time, money and cleanliness are way more scarce. So were the roses and laughter.

Which leads me to. . .